City Life Starter

Written by Stefan Johnsson

The Word

⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” ¹¹ He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ¹² The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” ¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

¹⁴ The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”

¹⁶ To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

¹⁷ And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; ¹⁸ thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. ¹⁹ By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

²⁰ The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.

Genesis 3:8-20 (ESV)

³ And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” ⁴ He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:3-6 (ESV)

¹³ Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”—

Galatians 3:13

Reflection

When sin crept into the world through Adam and Eve, it broke our relationship with God and each other. We became people who deceive, shift blame, and look for ways to justify our own moral shortcomings. Both Adam and Eve desired what was wrong, took what they should not have, and ate what was forbidden. But God, in his goodness and mercy, did not curse man or woman, but the serpent and the ground. Later God, in the form of a man named Jesus, would become the curse for us by dying on the cross (Galatians 3:13) so that we may be redeemed and have our relationship with God made right.

One of the main relationships we have with each other that was broken is marriage. What God intended is not what we have created and this can be seen more so through our interaction with each other. In Genesis 3:16, God explains what will happen. Woman’s desires will be contrary to her husband’s and man will rule over her. What was brought into the world was that man will look to dominate the relationship through force while a woman will develop insecurities over if the man will leave her, if she is good enough, or find alternate ways to find her fulfillment in her husband rather than God. It didn’t take many generations for this relationship to splinter further and for man to take more than one wife (see Genesis 4:19) and break what God intended in a marriage – for two to become one.

Marriage is not easy and may not be for everyone. But if you do get married, it becomes easier when both of you have a right relationship with God. The primary example of a Godly relationship is how Jesus Christ is this for His bride, the Church (see Ephesians 5:22-33). Two big questions that comes up are, how do we develop a Godly marriage in a society that glorifies independence and what does “submission” mean? When God created woman as a helper for man (Genesis 2:18), it did not mean that women are lesser or inferior. Even God calls Himself a helper for humans (E.g. Exodus 18:4; Psalm 10:14; 27:9; 40:17; 118:7). Thus, both man and woman are equally responsible before God for their actions and equally created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). Yet, we are each made for a purpose and hold different roles specific to our gender and part of that is man’s role as headship in the family. What this means for each relationship and marriage may be different as no two people are the same.

There are two key points I have come to understand through my own marriage and what the Bible teaches.

1. Just as Jesus served the disciples and later the Church, the husband should also serve his wife. Servant leadership is through example and example is by doing rather than saying. To serve your wife is not submitting to your wife. A wife should submit to her husband, not vice versa. Setting an example of servantship in a marriage does not mean to dominate or force someone to do something you think they ought to do. A woman should not submit to a man who abuses his authority. In the same way, Jesus never forces us to follow Him, but as we grow in faith, we begin to trust and obey Him more, and we learn to submit to Him more completely each day. A Godly marriage should look very similar in this regard. The man should lead by serving his family. Through this, both will start to love and provide for the other as they grow to be more as one rather than two.
2. Men should protect women, not act as a predator. Predators seek to dominate and rule. Protectors care for and love others so they can flourish and grow. What this society fails to teach men is how to be a protector for his wife and family the way that God wants them to be. Women will grow and thrive as a pillar of the family if they know that the man will bring safety, protection, and care for her.

Sin infiltrates all relationships and marriage is no different. Even the disciples knew that God’s idea of marriage is difficult (see Matthew 19:10). And it is our responsibility to trust in God through the hardships that marriage or any other relationship can bring. Submission, or the idea of submission, is very anti-cultural and puts us on edge just like our personal finances. Yet, we all submit to someone or something even if we do not think we are.

The good news is that there will be no need of marriage in heaven as we will find all our joy and completeness in our restored relationship with God. This earth only gives us a taste of what is to come. And through Genesis 3, we read that God already planned for this. In what’s called the ‘protoevangelium,’ found in Genesis 3:14, God says to the serpent, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” Jesus will be the fulfilment of this prophesy, the offspring of Eve who will bruise the head of the serpent by conquering sin once and for all.

Application

Be you single or married, it is important to understand our relationships to God is a priority and this will help us heal and develop better relationships with each other. When I met my wife, she did not seek for marriage, but told me that God was enough. And that is the key, God is enough and should always be enough. Marriage is not meant to solve our issues, it only shines a light on what was already there. Seek first the kingdom of God, as Jesus said, and store up treasures in heaven where moth and rust cannot destroy.

Secondly, know that God is good and wants what is best for you. He knew since sin entered the world what the plan was to conquer it. He is in control and will always be in control. Submit first to your Lord and Savior in humility and all else will in life won’t seem so bad. Without Him, this life will be too difficult. And we have already proven time and again that our ability to know what is good outside of God does not work.

Prayer

Father in heaven, help me to submit to You in all things. Seek and find that which is sin in my life and help me to repent of this with Your help. I need Your help to mend the broken relationships in my life and to put my faith in You. In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.