Written by Scott Fiddler
The Word
19 And Lamech took two wives. The name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. 20 Adah bore Jabal; he was the father of those who dwell in tents and have livestock. 21 His brother’s name was Jubal; he was the father of all those who play the lyre and pipe. 22 Zillah also bore Tubal-cain; he was the forger of all instruments of bronze and iron. The sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah.
23 Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me. 24 If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.”
25 And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and called his name Seth, for she said, “God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him.” 26 To Seth also a son was born, and he called his name Enosh. At that time people began to call upon the name of the Lord.
Genesis 4:19-26 (ESV)
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
1 Corinthians 13:4 (ESV)
Commentary
The thing about being called out in the Bible is that it is there for the rest of human history to see forever. That the Holy Spirit saw fit to illustrate this part of Lamech’s verbal exchange with his wives is interesting. Here, Lamech essentially says to them, “Listen up. You know how Cain killed his brother and God warned off people from taking revenge against Cain? Well I am badder than Cain, so don’t even think about crossing me.” It is harsh, unkind, and intimidating. It’s mansplaining on steroids.
Lamech’s misogyny, even more than his bigamy, is the reason for his infamy. It is indicative of how far man had fallen since Adam and Even were naked in the garden and were not ashamed. However, it is instructive for those of us who are married about how not to treat one’s spouse.
Years ago, I was talking to a potential client about taking on his wrongful termination case. As he and his wife were telling me the facts, he was repeatedly rude and dismissive to her. Then he started to say something and his wife interrupted him, and he said to her, “Will you just shut up!” By this point, I had had enough and said to him, “Do you always treat her like this?”
Men say harsh, mean things to their wives they would never think of saying to even a casual acquaintance, and then they wonder why there is no intimacy in their marriage. It never occurs to them that no person wants to be vulnerable, which is a condition to intimacy, with someone who has repeatedly hurt them, and words are the sharpest knives.
But the curse of the fall did not only affect men. How about the woman who denigrates and criticizes her husband privately and then wonders how he fell in love with his secretary, who is not as attractive or accomplished as she but is always kind to him and treats him with respect. Sure the man is a fool for mistaking his secretary’s kindness for love, but his wife is equally foolish in thinking her husband will feel love without kindness.
Application
The Apostle Paul told the Corinthians that love is kind (I Corinthians 13:4). We can talk about lofty concepts like covenant and unconditional love, and they are true and important, but the low hanging fruit that makes for a good marriage, the easy thing that almost everyone can do that will render the biggest dividend, is to simply be kind to one another. Don’t treat your spouse worse than your friends or your boss. Don’t be a Lamech.
Prayer
Lord, help me always to treat my spouse with kindness. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
City Life Starter 
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