City Life Starter

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (NIV)

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Matthew 19:4-11 (NIV)

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.

By Stefan Johnsson

We see both in Matthew, with the spoken word from Our Lord Jesus Christ, and from the apostle Paul in Corinthians, that marriage is meant for male and female and that divorce is not from God. Let no man separate what God has joined together, as Jesus said. We also see that divorce happened among the Jewish people. Our sinful nature, our inability to follow God fully and his perfect will, causes a wedge, not only between a man and God but also between husband and wife.

Jesus explains this in Matthew 8 when the Pharisees asked him regarding divorce. He says that Moses allowed it because of their hardened hearts. Even in the time of Moses, people separated and were not able to live together.

As an unmarried man, what struck me most when I read the words of Jesus is the reaction from the disciples. They say that it is better not to marry! If marriage was hard in the time of Jesus and the disciples reacted as they did, I do not doubt that this is the case in today’s society as well.

What Paul is adding to this, is that the marriage bond changes when one person is saved and the other is not.  Jesus has to come first, even before your spouse. The marriage relationship is not as important as the relationship with God. For as Jesus states in Matthew 22:30, there is no marriage in heaven. Thus, we cannot idolize our marriage on Earth. Our priorities to God come first.

This means that we should not divorce someone because we become saved, we should rather continue to live with them and be a witness. God will use you in whatever way that you allow Him. You cannot justify a divorce because you are now a believer, as the Corinthians thought they could. On the other hand, as Paul says, you cannot force your spouse to follow the Word of God. If they choose to leave you because of your dedication to Jesus, you should not stop them. They will have to answer for their actions to God regarding their own sin.

We may see more divorce happening in our culture than before, but the heart of man does not change. The independence and ability for women to secure better-paying jobs and equal rights in the workforce have made divorce easier, but the underlying factors are still there.

I have close family that went through divorce and struggles in their marriage. I know friends that have dealt with adultery, pain, sexual immorality, living together without the bond of marriage, and abuse. On the other hand, I have seen faithful marriages that represent Christ in every way, where God has redeemed and sanctified the marriage. All I know is that marriage does not cure sin, or our sinful hearts, only Jesus can do so.