6 Do not exalt yourself in the king’s presence,
and do not claim a place among his great men;
7 it is better for him to say to you, “Come up here,”
than for him to humiliate you before his nobles.
What you have seen with your eyes
8 do not bring hastily to court,
for what will you do in the end
if your neighbor puts you to shame?
9 If you take your neighbor to court,
do not betray another’s confidence,
10 or the one who hears it may shame you
and the charge against you will stand.
Ephesians 4:29-32
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Psalm 139:23-24
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Reflection Questions:
1. Have I been making private matters public?
2. Is my conversation helpful or hurtful?
3. Have I allowed God to remove any bitterness that I may have toward others?
4. Do I speak only truth about others?
By Jason Schezer
We don’t need to put lenses on people for them to see someone differently. If we are honest with ourselves and honest with the LORD, we know that we have often put lenses on people to try to make someone else seem discolored, dishonorable, disdainful.
From Proverbs 25:9 (above), it might possibly be ok in some rare circumstances to take one’s neighbor to court (for good cause), but most people who do so will betray someone in the process.
The basic idea in these possibly confusing verses is that of a person who has a debate or disagreement with another person. Having had a heated discussion, a shouting match, or a quieter yet sharp dispute, one party proceeds to disclose the contents of the dispute to a trusted “friend”, who may or may not be trustworthy. The writer of the Proverb (which is attributed to Solomon) believes that the outside person to whom the gossip is shared will then proceed to expose the shame of the dispute, with the end result of dishonor for both parties that were involved. A tarnished reputation is realized all because one person couldn’t just keep their mouth shut.
If we are honest, we will admit to ourselves (and to God) that we may have deeply offended someone in this way, and perhaps there was that sense of satisfaction – “I’m better than him/her, because —-“. Instead of thinking like this, allow God to search your heart, and see if there is any offensive way in you – an area in which you need His “surgical procedure” to remove something He knows is hindering your growth in Christ.
If we are honest, we will further realize that “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths” means that God defines what is unwholesome – not us. We may think a truthful statement said against someone is wholesome if it is true – but it could have been said in malice or in judgment against the other person.
There must be no gossip among God’s people. Gossip has many forms and comes in many flavors – all of them unpalatable and originating from a deceitful heart. Watch out for gossip – it is sneaky, lurks in the dark shadows, and is more subtle than two different shades of grey. If your highest desire in relationships with other people is to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32), then you will not even think of saying something selfish or unkind. Love covers the multitude of sins, and love keeps you from desiring to sin. Love is from God.
Prayer
Lord, fill my heart with Your words of kindness and keep a close watch over my words. Let me speak only what is true about my neighbor or other people around me such as coworkers or classmates. Lead me in the path of righteousness, even if it is a hard and difficult way. Let my words to others be helpful to them, honoring to them, and cause others to be built up to be more like my glorious Savior Christ Jesus. Amen.
City Life Starter 
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