City Life Starter

The Word

Proverbs 11:12-13 (AMP)

He who despises his neighbor lacks sense,

But a man of understanding keeps silent.

He who goes about as a gossip reveals secrets,

But he who is trustworthy and faithful keeps a matter hidden.

Proverbs 17:9 (AMP)

He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love,

But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.

Luke 2:19 (AMP)

But Mary treasured all these things, giving careful thought to them and pondering them in her heart.

By Aisha Darwesh

Proverbs 11:12-13 connects the concept of keeping a matter hidden with characteristics like understanding, trustworthiness, and faithfulness. Conversely, the Bible likens gossip to foolishness and fuel to fiery quarrels that burn bridges and separate close friends.

I am certain we have all experienced and inflicted the pain of gossip, sometimes without even realizing it. But what is so enticing about gossip anyway? On Sunday, Pastor Chris mentioned a variety of reasons people may succumb to gossip. Either they’re bored and need entertainment or are just trying to grasp for some sense of control or importance in knowing/disclosing something secret. Others may view gossip as a way to fellowship, a way to vent, or a means to draw attention away from their own secrets.

Whatever the reason we engage in gossip, it’s important to recognize what gossip is and develop techniques to prevent it so we can live in peace and in a manner worthy of our calling.

It is also important to note there is a clear and distinct difference between sharing something that’s weighing heavily on your heart to a trusted friend, and gossip. Proverbs 11:13 states he who is trustworthy and faithful keeps a matter hidden. If we are keeping certain things hidden, then that means somebody shared the matter with us to begin with. It is not a sin to discuss a matter privately with someone you trust.

In order to distinguish between meaningful communication and gossip, we must learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and walk in wisdom. We can also stop gossip dead in its tracks by understanding its components. For gossip to take place, one must have loose lips, speak thoughtlessly, and have a listening ear to unload on.

Let’s address each of those components with practical application.

Application

• Zip your lip. Make a decision right now to guard your mouth. Before you open your mouth, think about who is it is you’re speaking to. Is that person involved in the matter? Does that person have loose lips also? As we learned on Sunday, if that person is neither part of the problem, nor part of the solution, then you are probably about to engage in gossip. Zip it before you do any damage.
• Stop and think. Before talking to anyone about a story or situation, reflect on the matter inwardly (just between you and God). You could write in a prayer journal or go to a private place and tell God how you feel. Maybe you could even write the person who is bothering you a letter detailing how you feel and ask the Lord whether you should share it. Sometimes there’s a time to confront and other times we just need to let it go. Allow God to make that call.
• Shut it down. Gossips can only spread their poison if they have a listening ear to whisper in. You don’t have to be that person. If you are in a conversation where gossip is beginning to rear its ugly head, you can shut that down and redirect the conversation to something more constructive. For example, let’s say someone comes up to you and starts a conversation with “you will never believe what so-and-so did!….” Immediately, you can shut the gossip down and do something constructive. You can respond “Oh that’s a shame. Would you like to pray with me for him/her? [and enter into prayer]”

Prayer

Father, forgive me for all the times I have initiated and participated in gossip. I want my words to honor and glorify You. I pray You’ll help me put a muzzle on my mouth when I am about to engage in gossip or any corrupt communication. With the power of the Holy Spirit, Lord please tame my tongue.