City Life Starter

THE WORD: John 15:5

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Study Questions

1. From what or whom do you draw inspiration from?
2. When dealing with stressful situations, how do you release and de-stress when no one is looking?
3. If someone asked you today, “What does your Christian faith get you?”, what would be your response?

The above questions are asked because the answers to these would reveal much about your character, the character you value in others, and effectually would reveal what you center your life around.

The Scripture in reference was said by Jesus to His Disciples at the Last Supper before Jesus would part from them, the night He would be betrayed. He knew the Disciples would be tempted to leave Him and return to their old religious ways, tempted to shrink from what they had been entrusted with and return to comfort when they met hardships. If He knew this about the Disciples, and He was with them in the flesh, are we in any less different situation?

It is interesting that Jesus uses the vine as an illustration.

The grapevine is a prolific plant, and a single vine supports many branches and bears many grapes. In the Old Testament, to which Jesus often draws reference, including here, grapes symbolized Israel’s fruitfulness in doing God’s work on the earth. Here, Jesus is illustrating that the fruitful branches are true believers who by their living union with Christ produce much fruit. However, apart from Him, or if we turn from following Him, becoming unproductive and wasteful, we essentially become cut off from His life-giving power.

We see here that the only qualification Jesus gives to be fruitful is to abide in Him. It doesn’t mention we must be married to bear fruit, or that we cannot do anything fruitful unless we’re married.

So, if you’re in a state of singlehood, then know that being married or being single is not an end in and of itself. Those seasons in life serve as a means to an end, which man’s ultimate chief end is to honor and glorify God with a life of living in His perfect will.

In one of the past Starter posts, Aisha Darwesh talked about waiting, and how waiting can be an active season, not a passive one. This is so true. Furthermore, in this season as you’re waiting, don’t waste it.

You might be asking, ‘what can I do?’ in my singlehood. Additionally, Chris Pate asked two questions: ‘How do you know if you’re called to be single?’ The answer: If you’re single, you’re called to it. It may not be for a lifetime, but it is where God has you now, so embrace the season you are in, be all there, and honor God where you are. The other question as you might guess that he asked, “How do you know if you’re called to be married?”. The answer: If you’re married, you’re called to it, and you’re to honor and glorify God through your marriage.

I’m married now, but as I reflect on my singlehood and how I was inspired by God during that time to see it as a time to actively wait in a Christ-centered way, and not a time to actively waste, I want to provide a few things I learned that may help you to have a different perspective on singlehood:

• Do not grumble and become bitter, but count your blessings, and bless others.

• Instead of searching for Mr./Mrs. Right, God struck my heart to allow Him to chisel my frame and character into how He saw fit, thereby becoming the kind of man and continuing to become, that was right for what He’s called and qualified me to.

• If you’re dating, exercise wisdom, patience and caution, but don’t become weird and over spiritualize dating. Be sensible, and avoid going too deep too fast.

• One of the best things I could do while being single, was to have a counsel of friends, one of which was my Pastor, Chris Pate, a married man, who often spoke from a place of wisdom and gave incredible advice. If you’re a woman, have a close counsel of women, and if marriage is a desire, then have wise and close counsel of married women.

• Check your heart often and guard it, check your actions, your motives, your behaviors, and your character to ensure you don’t idolize singleness or marriage.

• In singlehood, you likely have more flexibility in your schedule, unless you’re a workaholic, which may not be healthy either. Don’t waste this free time, as you can use this time to serve your local church or in a ministry, read good books (namely the Bible), and connect with a small group. The point here is to start forming these kinds of habits that support your pursuit of living a Christ-centered life.

• God’s ways are higher and much better than man’s. Isaiah 55:8-9 – “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your way, And my thoughts than your thoughts.

This lets us know, we can trust God as we fix our eyes on Jesus. There is joy to be experienced in the Christ-centered life, whether single or married.

My prayer for all is that you learn to take joy where you are, as you aim to bring glory to God and conform to His will, not your own. Wherever you are, be all there, and be fruitful in the season you are in by abiding in the True Vine of Jesus Christ.

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, in the end, “Thy will be done.” … – C.S. Lewis