City Life Starter

I. The Word: Matthew 6:33

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

II. Study Questions

1. If you are single, do you know what kind of person you want to marry?

2. If so, are you the kind of person the person you would want to marry would want to marry?

3. Are you seeking first His righteousness, i.e. are you focused on working with the Lord to make you into the person the person you would want to marry would want to marry?

When I was single, like most singles I hoped to get married one day. At some point, I began to pray for my future wife, even before I knew who she was. I thought this an interesting idea because, even though I didn’t know who she was, I knew the Lord knew who she was, and the Lord knew I knew He knew who she was. Knowing all this I began to pray, you know.

I prayed for her well-being and protection, but I also prayed that she would have all the characteristics I wanted in a wife. The list was long and the bar set high. I wanted her to love the Lord with all her heart and have a high standard of holiness. I didn’t want her to have a bunch of relationship baggage from dating other guys. I wanted her to be smart, well-read, funny, and interesting. I wanted her to be confident and attractive. I think the list was actually longer than this, but I don’t remember what I did with the list and am working strictly from memory.

One day while praying for my future wife a thought hit me, a thought I am convinced was from the Lord. Thoughts so personal, objective, wise, and convicting rarely originate from within. The thought was this: that instead of praying that my wife would have all the characteristics I wanted in a woman, I needed to begin praying the Lord would make me the kind of man worthy of the kind of woman for which I was praying. For example, if I wanted someone totally committed to the Lord, I needed to be totally committed to the Lord. If I didn’t want a spouse with relationship baggage, I needed to avoid it myself. Otherwise, I was just a hypocrite. Ouch!

Jesus said we are to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these other things will be added. See Matthew 6:33. Jesus was talking about all the things that people eagerly seek such as clothing, food, and the other necessities of life, but I think it applies to everything. Seeking His righteousness means seeking to be like Him in character, which is what theologians refer to as the process of sanctification. It is to be our top priority, along with the expansion of His kingdom on earth.

So, I put away my list of demands and began to look at what I needed to change in my life to make me worthy of the kind of woman I wanted to marry and before too long she showed up. That was twenty-eight years ago, and we have lived happily ever after…except for that time she accidentally left my favorite irreplaceable tweed jacket at a bed and breakfast in Scotland, but I have forgiven her for that.